The Argument

VIII.
And so these men of Indostan
    Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
    Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
    And all were in the wrong!

In the end, what is it all about?

Life is full of difficulties, and sometimes we focus on the most obvious ones like an obvious disability, never really putting much thought into all the little things in life that stand in the way of everybody. The failure of communication, the sometimes unfortunate obligations to family, the emotional walls we construct, all of those are things that we share to one degree or another, so we don't call them disabilities, no matter how disabling they may be.

I think maybe that's the real issue that I'm trying to put across here. We look at someone who's different, maybe missing a limb or one of their senses, and wonder at how they can overcome that shortcoming, almost never thinking about how all of us have shortcomings that leave us short of what an ideal life would be. How does anyone overcome?

Maybe we don't want to look at that side of reality. Just as few of the students at Yamaku would want to be defined by their disabilities, nobody really wants to let themselves be defined by the personal and emotional quirks that hold us back from living the full life that we might have if only. But maybe we are defined by those things, and maybe it's the overcoming of those problems that is what makes up the real meaning of life.

I don't mean that in a deep, philosophical sense, like we were put on this planet by a cruel deity who says, "I'm going to saddle you with a crippling shyness just to see how that makes you turn out!" I mean that life is made up of interactions and choices between ourselves and others, and the aspects of our lives that make those more difficult are inevitably going to shape the way they happen. We seek out others out of a basic need to connect and not be alone, and in the process, we have to learn how to overcome the barriers between us, both for ourselves and for those others.

Maybe it seems unfair that life won't just hand us happiness on a silver platter, I don't know. I think that maybe it's this process that makes our lives richer, like the way a certain amount of conflict makes for a good story in fiction. Doesn't the happy ending seem so much more fulfilling if the protagonist had to fight to get it? When you had to learn to grow along with friends and lovers, didn't both of you gain some strength from the experience? While it's bodybuilders who say, "No pain, no gain," it's probably a fact of life that applies to more than its physical aspect.

I think that's why people seek out companionship on some level. While it's clear that love and friendship are their own rewards, there's another level on which we instinctively know that relationships are good for our health. What is life without meaningful relationships? If you can't find someone to love, do you really end up living? No, finding someone and figuring them out (while having them likewise figure you out) is what the game of life is all about.

So that's the challenge that life presents us; few of us are literally students enrolled at a school for the disabled, but maybe just about all of us are figuratively. Everyone has limits, but our goal is to make sure that we know where those limits are, and how to maximize our potential within them. That's why we keep on trying in the face of our failures, because we know that eventually, success is bound to happen, and we'll learn and grow in the process.

Maybe what I'm saying is obvious, but I think I myself have been, at times, tempted to just stop trying when it comes to life because it gets too frustrating. I guess if there's anyone reading who had that sort of feeling (which isn't completely unlikely) then it's mainly to them that I'm trying to urge the seriousness of working hard at life. It's a job you have to take very seriously. Do you understand?