The Snake

IV.
The Third approached the animal,
    And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
    Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
    Is very like a snake!"

Sometimes I worry about what must go on in the very personal aspects of the lives of these students. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager, and I remember what it's like to have your hormones raging nearly out of control while your emotions are a tangled mess and you're not sure what level of physical intimacy is appropriate between you and your significant other. Thank goodness that goes away when you become an adult.

Never mind, I'm lousy at sarcasm.

I've always thought it unfortunate it seems the peak of a person's sexual drive occurs in the same stage of life in which they aren't quite adult yet, but are entering into adulthood, and so therefore must have a horribly difficult time deciding how to deal with the very adult physical and emotional urges they feel. Maybe it's some sort of strange evolutionary thing, that teenage pregnancy is actually one of the driving factors in sustaining the human race. Of course if that's true, Japan must be doing very poor evolutionarily.

Of course I'm glad it would seem that of those teens in Japan that are engaging in premarital sex, the strong majority of them must be being responsible and using protection of some sort. Teenage pregnancy is a serious issue in many parts of the world, but Japan seems to have dodged that particular bullet, as well as the worldwide AIDS epidemic having hardly touched our country. I wonder if there is something going on that is beyond mere "responsibility", however.

I mean, there is something going on, but it's hard to say what it really is in the end. When I made that comment before about Japan's evolutionary fitness, I was only partially joking. Most people are aware (I think) that Japan's birth rate has been declining steadily since the early 1970s, but perhaps fewer are aware that sometime in the last few years, the birth rate has managed to drop below the death rate, meaning that the overall population of Japan is dropping by hundreds of thousands per year. The weird thing about it (I think) is that studies have shown it really isn't about people being careful and using birth control: people, including teenagers, simply aren't having sex!

This is my own opinion, obviously, but I think there's something unhealthy about it. Not that people should be having lots and lots of sex and pushing out lots and lots of babies; I know a lot of people see the world as having an overpopulation problem, and they're probably right. No, what I think is unhealthy about the whole thing is the disparity in our culture between the perceptions and realities of our sexuality.

Getting back to teenagers, I think it's probably common not just in Japan, but in most first-world countries for teenagers to feel pressure not just from their hormones, but from society and their peers that they should be having sex, when in reality, they may not be emotionally ready for it. So many kids seem to have this assumption that "everybody's doing it" and they don't want to be left out, so they either rush into a physical relationship, or they sink into depression because they feel that their lack of sexual activity must mean something is wrong with them, and all based on assumptions that are probably far from reality.

But it's not just the world of teenagers, of course, because the same studies in which I read that sexual activity among even married adults is on the decline, I read that less than a quarter of Japanese people state that they are satisfied with their sex lives. How can it be that even adults, who I would assume have their emotions and hormones better sorted out than teenagers and in the 21st century have pharmaceutical help if there is a physical problem, aren't able to figure out what they really want out of their sex lives? I think the answer may be in another aspect of our culture that may set us apart from much of the rest of the world.

I believe that we have become unable to be satisfied in real-life sexual relations because for so many of us, the fantasy of what sex could be is often so far out there that reality can never measure up. Media with sexual content is probably produced in every country in the world, but I doubt there is any country that quite measures up to the volume and variety we have in Japan. Sexual fantasy and fetishism permeates our cinema, our literature, our manga, and even video games. While some have suggested that the violence in American culture is in part the result of violent video games, I think the sexuality of Japanese video games is having the reverse effect. Sitting in front of a computer looking at physically perfect girls that you may have the option to get physically involved with in any fashion with simply the click of a button is probably making people lose hope in the possibility that real sex could possibly satisfy.

Real sex is emotionally and physically difficult, risky, messy, and potentially very unsatisfying. Still, I'd like to think that a couple in a mutually caring relationship where both partners have realistic expectations of sex and a desire to please each other can find sexual satisfaction. It's certainly not something you're going to get from a video game.